


love actually (really sucks)

by kingiamesbible



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Christmas Party, Fluff, Gift Fic, M/M, Multi, cliche as FUUUUUUCK, i havent written any homestuck for so long, really really late christmas present for the moirail, there are so many characters in this i cant write jesus christ, this is also really self indulgent ship wise im sorry nick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2015-04-19
Packaged: 2018-03-24 20:17:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3783031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingiamesbible/pseuds/kingiamesbible
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>dave only wants one thing for christmas and its not something he can ask santa for</p>
            </blockquote>





	love actually (really sucks)

**Author's Note:**

> right so its april but i promised my main man nick this johndave ages ago and its shorter than i wouldve liked and ends kinda abruptly but i hope you get some satisfaction from it anyway. lov u bro <33

“What about this one?”

Rose opens her eyes and studies her brother standing in front of her, raising an eyebrow and pursing her black lips as she looks him up and down.

“Well, it certainly passes the test for ugliness,” she grimaces, scrunching her nose at the offending maroon garment. “But I don’t think it’s festive enough.”

Dave groans loudly and flops down onto Rose’s bed in despair, making muffled whining noises while Rose just laughs.

“C’mon, Rose,” he protests, his voice muffled by the duvet.

“Look, you’re the one who wants to help John and Jane decorate the house so badly,” Rose tells him, a smirk on her face as she pats his hair in the patronising fashion that she knows annoys him. Sure enough, he bristles and turns onto his back to stop her actions. “Jane said clearly if you want to come and help, festive cheer and ugly Christmas sweaters are compulsory.”

“Yeah but we’ve been going through the pile she gave us for almost half an hour!” Dave wails, throwing his arms up in exasperation. “I’m not going to have any festive cheer left by the time you’ve made up your mind. Shit’s all levels of ridiculous.”

“You never had any festive cheer, brother mine,” Rose smiles. “And I’m doing it because I love you.”

“’Because you love me’ my ass” Dave retorts. “You’ve been around Kanaya too much.”

Weakly, Dave kicks at the jumpers still waiting to be tried on, successfully ruining the neat pile Jane put them in. Then he moves around to put his head in Rose’s lap, and she laughs again at the tragic look he gives her with his uncovered eyes.

“Just think Dave,” she says, putting on an exaggerated voice of excitement, “when John sees you in the most horrific yet festive sweater he’s ever seen, his face is going to light up like a Christmas tree. Then won’t all this turmoil be worth it?”

That makes him perk up. A subtle pink tint spreads across his freckled cheeks and the tiniest hint of a smile pinches at his lips. Then he's grinning dreamily up at Rose, but he isn't really looking at her. He's imagining it happening. In his head he can see the scene unfold: he and Rose turn up, cool as ice cubes (but mostly him), at John and Jane’s house, wearing their hideous excuses for clothing. Dave strides up to where John is busily hanging holly from the doorframe, donning his sunglasses in one smooth motion in an even more suave fashion than any of John’s dumb actor idols. Get on this level Cage, Strider’s in the house now. John would turn and see him, his jaw dropping to the floor as he takes in the sheer amount of radical vibe he’s giving off. Then Dave would walk right up to John, take the dork in his arms and dip him like a princess. John would blush like one of the dumb anime girls Dirk loves so much and take a hold of Dave’s itchy jumper like a lifeline.

“Merry fucking Christmas,” Dave will say, pulling John up against his chest.

“Dave,” John will gasp, smiling bashfully. “Dave!” Why is he yelling? What the fuck.

“Dave!” Rose snaps, making Dave’s eyes fly open and he rolls off her lap and consequently off her bed with a yell. 

"The fuck?" he protests, climbing back up and glaring at her accusingly. 

"You zoned out," she informs him. "And it's almost time to go, so let’s hurry and get through this pile so you can woo your man."

Dave looks back at the still substantially large pile and groans. 

 

Subconsciously, Dave knows John won't be outside his house hanging holly, but he's still disappointed when he steps out of Roxy's car and sees the already-decorated front of the house occupied by no one. The four of them, Roxy, Dirk, Rose and himself, walk up to the front door, Rose and Dirk lingering behind as they light cigarettes, and Roxy steps up to knock. A smiling white-haired girl answers the door, and upon seeing Roxy, beams even wider. The blonde herself throws herself into the girl's arms and kisses her enthusiastically, making the shorter one laugh. 

"Come in, guys," Calliope says, although Roxy's already done just that. The other three step inside and follow her through the opening hallway, lined with fairy lights and holly placed systematically above the framed pictures on the walls. 

She leads them into the front room, where Jane is standing on her tiptoes trying to place a star on top of a huge tree. It seems that many of their friends got the message of coming to help, most of them probably only volunteering their services due to the promise of Jane's cookies as a reward. Jake, Jade, Terezi, Karkat, Feferi, Meenah and Aranea are all on hand, scurrying around and hanging decorations of all descriptions around the household. As they each see the newly arrived Strider-Lalonde siblings, they greet them in their different manners in between weaving around rooms to make the whole establishment as festive as possible for the party later on. Jade chirps brightly and hugs them all, and Karkat follows, albeit begrudgingly on Jade's insistence, although he's less than half as cheerful and doesn't hug them. Jake shakes their hands in turn in his usual chipper fashion, and is successfully put out of action as soon as Dirk grabs him and locks their mouths together. Feferi and Aranea give them smiley hellos, and Meenah fist bumps Roxy while Terezi hugs Dave and Rose. Jane skips over to greet them, looking worn out already, her glasses slightly askew. Nevertheless, she is her usual hospitable self and offers them drinks and snacks which they politely refuse to save her more trouble. She seems grateful, to say the least. 

"How can we help, Janey?" Roxy asks, sounding eager. Calliope, who has her hand around the blonde's, smiles up at her. 

"Well," Jane sighs, straightening her glasses, "I was hoping you and Callie could finish the tree for me, since I still have a lot of baking to do."

"Aye, aye, Captain Crocker!" Roxy grins and pulls Calliope after her to the tree. 

Before Jane can give the other two their orders, the doorbell rings and Feferi springs up to get it before Jane does. Once again, Jane starts to speak but then Feferi is squealing, "hi Kanaya!" and Rose is breaking into a smile and dashing to the door. 

"That's Rose and Dirk out of action," Dave says, rolling his eyes at Jane through his shades. She laughs, but it sounds fatigued. Poor girl. "What can I do?"

"Um," Jane mumbles helplessly, "would you like to help Terezi with the fireplace?"

"On it," Dave replies, and makes a beeline for the next room. Just then, Jane grabs his wrist and gives him a quick kiss on his cheek. 

"Thank you," she says quietly, and he nods with a smile. She starts to turn to go to the kitchen, but then a thought strikes her. "John! Could you come and put the star on the top of the tree?"

"Coming!" a voice yells back from near where Terezi is sitting, and Dave's stomach flips. The next second, John rounds the corner, wearing a blue and maroon knitted jumper with a snowman on the front, goofy smile in full swing, and Dave can't look away. 

"Hey Dave!" he chirps, and Dave almost chokes. 

In the month since their last meeting, he's grown at least five inches, meaning he's taller than Dave now, and his body seems to be better proportioned than before. He used to be a gangly kid with awkward limbs, but suddenly everything fits him, but with the twinkling blue eyes and winning smile still in place. One month. That's all it took and now he's perfect. And god, Dave is so in love. 

Of course, Rose decides that is the perfect moment to return with Kanaya, and Dave can feel the smug smirk she's giving him from behind. 

"Hi dude," Dave finally gets out, and it's quieter than he expected it to be, but John doesn't seem to notice and wraps Dave in a hug. He lets go quicker than Dave would have liked and moves to hug Rose and Kanaya too. Dazed, the blond walks into the next room and slowly sets himself opposite Terezi in front of the fireplace, afraid he might pass out. 

"You're smitten," Terezi cackles, far too loudly. "I can smell the blush on you."

"Shut up," Dave hisses, checking to see no one overheard. 

"Are you going to tell him?" she pesters, leaning in closer to him. 

"I don't know," he sighs. "I feel like if he doesn't reciprocate it could ruin both our Christmases."

"But if he does," Terezi pointed out, untangling a string of fairy lights, "it could be a great Christmas present for you two. I'd say go for it."

"Maybe."

Suddenly Meenah plops down next to them, grinning like she knows something's up. Terezi sniffs the air and her frown lifts. 

"What's the big sea-cret, huh?" she begins, fixing Dave with a knowing stare. He shifts uncomfortably under her gaze. Meenah's been Dirk's friend for years, but he's never really met her properly and frankly, she kind of scares him. It's odd, since his three siblings have no issue with her whatsoever but there's something about her that sets him on edge. 

"Dave's going to fess up to John about his totally non-platonic bro crush on him," Terezi informs her. 

"Tez!" Dave squeals. 

"Oooh, you go homie!" Meenah enthuses, giving him an encouraging punch on the shoulder. She then apparently loses all interest in that subject, which Dave is grateful for, and turns back to Terezi. "Do you know when Ampora's going to show? Fef won't stop clammin' on and it's getting reel annoyin'."

"No idea," Terezi groans.

Deciding to leave the girls to their own chatting, Dave stands and wanders back into the front room, glancing wistfully at Dirk and Jake on the couch, laughing about something together. His eyes travel over to where Rose and Kanaya are talking in hushed voices, smiling and occasionally sharing a short touch of the lips. Roxy and Callie are still at the tree, hanging candy canes on the branches in between lazy kisses. 

He's happy for his siblings, honestly, but sometimes he feels so low about not having a significant other. The three of them can turn to their partner whenever they like, and smile and laugh and frankly be sickeningly adorable together whenever they want. They all other people to rely on, whereas he can only confide in them on trivial matters. He needs them more than they need him, and that realisation hits him like a punch in the gut. Sure, the four of them hang out together a lot, and they talk to him about their problems sometimes, but he can't help feeling like there are secrets they've only told their other half and not him, whereas he tells them everything. And one day, surely, they won't need to discuss their issues with him at all, and he'll just be their single, lonely, forgotten younger brother. He hates that thought, but it's his biggest fear, and it haunts him at night. Rose has assured him on multiple occasions that she's always there for him and she won't abandon him in favour of Kanaya, but Dave still doubts. If only he could pluck up the courage to actually confess to John, his fears may be abolished. As it is though, he's terrified of losing his best friend as well. 

He's so deep in his thoughts that he doesn't realise he's moved to the hallway that leads to the kitchen. From inside, he hears hushed voices and what sounds like soft crying. Curious, he peers round the door so he can just see the scene inside. 

Jane is sitting on a high kitchen stool, rubbing her eyes and sniffling while Aranea rubs her back and comforts her in a hushed voice. 

"I don't know if this is such a good idea," she is saying, sounding frantic. "I've never hosted so many people before and dad's going to be furious if the house gets trashed!"

"The house won't get trashed," Aranea tells her quietly. "I'll be here to make sure of that and Meenah's got Damara on the case with her too."

The tears don't stop spilling from Jane's eyes. 

"What if they ruin the decorations or they don't like the music? What if they complain about the dress code? What if they don't like the food?"

Carefully, with a soft smile, Aranea wipes under Jane's eyes with her thumb so not to smudge her glittery eyeliner, and then places both hands gently on her shoulders. 

"Jake's guarding the decorations, I put Vriska and Terezi in charge of the music, and I would safely bet there isn't a soul on this earth who wouldn't enjoy your food."

With a final sniff, Jane gives her a watery smile and Aranea takes a small step back so Jane can slide off the stool. 

"Thank you for your help Aranea," she says quietly, giving the taller girl a tight hug. 

"You're very welcome." They break apart but stay standing very close together. "You're the best party host I know. It's going to be great okay?"

Jane nods. Then she stands up on her tiptoes and rushed at the other, pressing their lips together with a tiny noise of surprise from Aranea who quickly adjusts and holds Jane close to her. At the same moment, Dave reels back around the corner in shock, losing all sight of the kitchen as he lets out long heavy breath he didn't know he was holding. 

Jane has a girlfriend? Jane oh-woe-I'm-forever-alone Crocker is dating Aranea? Since when? Since when is everyone in loving relationships except him? 

 _And John_ , a tiny voice whispers, but he pushes it down. 

Looking back on it, he guesses they're a good match, and they've always been affectionate, but the shock is still the most overwhelming emotion within him, closely followed by searing jealously. When were they going to tell Dirk and Jake and Roxy? Were they? How long have they been together? Does anyone else know?

A million questions zoom about in his mind, the most prominent being, how did she get a girlfriend before I did? How did she get a girlfriend before her _brother_ did?

Any girl would throw themselves at John's feet now, he's sure. That thought just makes him sad though, so he tries to steady his breathing and his rapid heart rate before walking back into the main room to continue to help set up. Maybe he'll run into John and stammer his way through a conversation with the blue-eyed boy continuing to be oblivious. Whoever said ignorance was bliss could eat his ass, because john's ignorance has been torture for the better part of five years. 

He sighs. This is going to be a fucking fantastic party.

 

He's pretty sure the most annoying factor of his Huge Mega Problem is that Dave has no idea what John's sexuality actually is. The boy's a mystery; he's never had means to mention it in conversation and he's never expressed interest in anyone in particular. He is just nice to everyone. If Dave was certain he was gay or bi or pan, he would have much less trouble trying to ask John if he wanted to go out in a non-bro way. But here he is, and he knows absolutely nothing about John's preferences and it infuriates him to no end. The worst part of it is, he doesn’t have a clue how to bring it up in conversation casually without sounding like a prying idiot. 

He thinks this multiple times as the party goes on and the guests start to arrive. Eridan and Vriska both show up "fashionably late", as expected, shoving themselves through the door while arguing loudly about who's jumper is uglier. Once they join the party in the living room, everyone is accounted for, and the festivities truly begin. Terezi pulls Vriska over to her duties at the stereo and their music choices do not disappoint, adding the perfect amount of genuine cheer and commercial cheesiness the place needs. They play a few games, including blind man's buff, musical statues and one where you have to try and eat a small sugared donut off a string without using your hands. Much to Dave's delight, he excels at that and manages to grab his down before stifling Rose's and Dirk's too. All the while, Aranea and Jane are distributing snacks, and Dave can't help but notice that Aranea is keeping a watchful eye on the behaviour of the guests. Everyone mostly stays in line, although Eridan and Sollux almost get into a fistfight over something or other. 

As time ticks on, Dave's nerves never get a chance to dissipate. Each time an opportunity arises to go over and speak to John, someone else drags him away to do something else. They communicate all evening through smiles and waves, though that doesn't feel adequate for Dave's needs that evening. He's decided he's going to go for it, though he hasn't quite formulated in his mind how to word his feelings. Expressing emotions isn't his most highly praised attribute. As the night sky starts darkening however and guests start to take their leave, he manages to slide out of Rose's grip and move over to where John is standing against one wall sipping a hot drink. Neither of them say anything for a while; instead Dave lets his eyes wander over to where the four oldest kids are standing with Aranea while Jane seemingly explains something to them. Suddenly Roxy is hugging her two blue-glad friends and Dirk and Jake laugh delightedly. So she told them after all. His gaze moves momentarily to where Vriska and Terezi are curled up on the couch giggling over something before John breaks their silence. 

"Pretty great party huh?"

Dave turns to look up at him, and he has a gentle grin on his face that makes the blond's neck heat up. 

"Yeah dude, your sister could give professionals a run for their money," he replies, looking over at the woman herself who is beaming and looks like the personification of a Christmas miracle. 

John laughs and it makes Dave smile in turn. Then he takes a sip of his drink and clears his throat. 

"I can't believe it's been a whole month since I've seen you, man," he says, shaking his head. "That's too long."

"Can't stand to be away from this hot mess for too long huh?" Dave teases, gesturing to his torso and making John laugh again. 

"Damn right," he smiles. "But seriously, we should go out and do something fun soon. Have a day out in town, or something."

_Do it now, do it now!_

Silence. 

_This is your chance!_

He can't get the words out. 

"Sounds great."

He's terrified. 

He can't do it. 

John seems satisfied with his affirmative reply and lets the quiet resume, and while he might find it comfortable, Dave is squirming internally and desperately reaching for the courage to say something. He feels like two armies are at war in his brain and hopes that his stoic stance remains intact. His friend has grown significantly better at reading his slight changes in facial expression. With Rose's help, no doubt. 

Talking of Rose, Dave spots her gesturing out of the corner of his eye. He looks over to see her glancing at John warily while pointing upwards. With a raised eyebrow, Dave looks above him, and oh god. Mistletoe. He looks back at Rose and mouths the word no at her. He's way too cool for a cliche like that. She responds by rolling her eyes and pointing subtly at John then making an odd circular motion with her hands in his general direction and jerking her head upwards once. In all honestly, Dave is surprised John hasn't noticed. But Dave knows what she's telling him, though something within him refuses to let him believe it. 

_He planned this._

Maybe that thought is why Dave's common sense shut off just long enough for him to lean up and give John the lightest kiss on the cheek, further away from his mouth than he would've liked but enough to make his stomach flip nervously as soon as he breaks contact. His heels hit the floor just as John turns to look at him with a slightly startled expression that Dave only sees out of the corner of his eye, as he is now staring pointedly forward and beginning to feel a bead of sweat roll down the side of his face. 

"Is that it?" is John's response, sounding somewhat miffed and stunning Dave into facing him. 

"What?" he asks, his voice sounding hopelessly croaky. 

"Oh my god, come here."

And John slides his hand into Dave's hair and then they are kissing, actually kissing for real and Dave thinks he might die. He feels John's other hand at his waist and makes himself move his up to John's shoulders, pulling himself close in case he is dreaming. But oh _man_ John's lips are soft and his hand in his hair is already driving Dave crazy and it really doesn't feel like a dream. Everything about how John touches him is gentle and careful, almost uncertain, and Dave can’t believe he's been missing out on this for his whole life. Finally, after years of moping, complaining and his siblings groaning at him to grow up, he is kissing John and it fucking _rocks_.  

Eventually John pulls back and smiles somewhat nervously at him, his hand still tangled in Dave's hair. Dave sighs quietly, barely audible, and closes his eyes for a moment so he can savour this moment. He doesn't think he'll ever forget that the first time John kissed him, he tasted like sour pop rox and buttercream icing. 

"Maybe I'll tell Santa not to come this year," John says quietly. "I already got what I wanted."

"John," Dave scoffs, his heart still beating at a ridiculous pace, "that's a bit gay."

"Says the guy who kissed me back not a moment ago," John retorted, grinning. 

"You complaining, Egbert?"

"Nah.” He presses another, shorter kiss to Dave’s lips before leaning back again and giving the blond the dorkiest smile he’s ever seen. “Just havin’ myself a merry little Christmas.”


End file.
